Friends
Of course "The One with the Prom Video" is the No. 1 fan-voted episode. Not only does it give us
and Phoebe's adorable marine-life-based fate analogy ("He's her lobster!"), more importantly, we
are introduced to Fat Monica and Pre-Rhinoplasty ("I had a deviated septum") Rachel, who are
preserved on tape getting ready for their prom. When Monica tries to explain her larger-than-life
screen presence by asserting that the camera adds 10 pounds, Chandler (who actually should have
seen her like this before, given other flashback episodes in which he is present) responds, "So
how many cameras are actually on you?" Which is damn funny stuff �until I realize the other side
of the coin: If this is true, then these three women are 10 pounds thinner in real life than they
already are on TV. A sobering thought when you consider how skinny Courteney Cox looks; but
somehow an even sadder one when you compare Jennifer Aniston's once curvy physique to her current
wafer-thin existence.
"Keep on Truckin'" commercial
Yeah, because so many truck drivers dig disco.
Survivor: All-Stars
Awww. Boston Rob was voted last week's Tylenol Push Through the Pain winner because "Ambuh" ended
up on the opposing team. Excuse me, I'm a little queasy now. Do I qualify for the Pepto Negotiate
the Nausea prize?
Will & Grace
Yes, Jack you must be more involved in your son's life. Elliott needs your support and
encouragement. But mostly, that boy is in desperate need of a haircut. Although that's no big
surprise given that his mom is played by Rosie O'Donnell.
The Apprentice
I'm shocked. Not by Nick and Amy's double ouster (Mom always said, "Don't s--t where you eat"),
not by the Survivor-esque return of the last six castoffs and not by Carolyn's killer golf swing.
No, I'm shocked at myself for being shocked by Omarosa's denial that a phone call she received
during dinner with her team had anything to do with their assigned task. But just when I think it
can't get any more twisted, she out and out lies when she's subsequently called on her actions by
the Trump exec who phoned her with a problem. Omarosa says she never even spoke to the woman the
night before, that she was merely told to get in touch with her. Um, did she not notice the camera
crew that was in her face while she was taking the call? Did that falling piece of cee-ment damage
her eyesight, short-term memory and conscience too? It's all too obvious that she's the ultimate
sore loser �no pun intended �and that she's trying to sabotage Kwame's chances of winning, but
doesn't she realize that lying on national TV isn't going to get her anywhere? Well, she might be
able to find something at the White House...
Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital
Note to self: If I'm ever in a haunted hospital where a creepy little ghost girl keeps a
humongous, disease-eating aardvark-wolverine-looking creature as a pet, don't open any unfamiliar
bowling-ball bags. Didn't that chick see The Sopranos?
ER
I'm still bawling and I'm out of tissues. I'm also royally p----d. Finally, Weaver seemed to have
found personal happiness with Sandy and their son, Henry, and the future looked bright for her
dynamic character to develop a richer inner life than just being the hospital harpy. But then the
writers go and kill off Sandy. And it was gut-wrenching watching Kerry stand by helplessly and
crumble inside as the love of her life and the mother of their child gruesomely died before her
eyes. But that's not enough tragedy for one episode, so the writers have Sandy's grieving family
take Henry from Kerry, leaving her utterly alone in her sorrow. Laura Innes turned in a stellar
performance (I smell an Emmy nod), but can't we torture someone else? Let's see... Chen? No, her
mother just died and her father is an invalid. Gallant? No, looks like he's shipping out to war.
Susan? Nope, she's been ordered to bed rest for the next five weeks. Sam? Alex's dad is back.
Abby? Failed the medical board exam. Neela? Just killed a patient and any hope of a relationship
with Gallant when he falsified a chart to save her butt. Well, Carter's been pretty happy lately.
Maybe we can abuse him for a while. Once he comes back from Africa, of course.
The Tonight Show
Obviously that guy who licked John Melendez's shoe for $5 in Times Square is a tourist. I've only
lived in NYC a month and I always take my shoes off at my apartment door, something I was always
somewhat insulted by prior to moving here but now require of everyone who visits my teeny tiny
abode. Why? Hundreds, probably thousands of dogs �and no grass.
Quote of the night
"How long should that sentence be?!" �The Daily Show's Jon Stewart's response to Condoleezza
Rice's testimony that a memorandum about the presence of al-Qaida cells in the U.S. was expressed
in "only a line or two."
-- TV Guide
