tvguide.com article 2

Friends
Of course "The One with the Prom Video" is the No. 1 fan-voted episode. Not only does it give us
and Phoebe's adorable marine-life-based fate analogy ("He's her lobster!"), more importantly, we
are introduced to Fat Monica and Pre-Rhinoplasty ("I had a deviated septum") Rachel, who are
preserved on tape getting ready for their prom. When Monica tries to explain her larger-than-life
screen presence by asserting that the camera adds 10 pounds, Chandler (who actually should have
seen her like this before, given other flashback episodes in which he is present) responds, "So
how many cameras are actually on you?" Which is damn funny stuff �until I realize the other side
of the coin: If this is true, then these three women are 10 pounds thinner in real life than they
already are on TV. A sobering thought when you consider how skinny Courteney Cox looks; but
somehow an even sadder one when you compare Jennifer Aniston's once curvy physique to her current
wafer-thin existence.

"Keep on Truckin'" commercial
Yeah, because so many truck drivers dig disco.

Survivor: All-Stars
Awww. Boston Rob was voted last week's Tylenol Push Through the Pain winner because "Ambuh" ended
up on the opposing team. Excuse me, I'm a little queasy now. Do I qualify for the Pepto Negotiate
the Nausea prize?

Will & Grace
Yes, Jack you must be more involved in your son's life. Elliott needs your support and
encouragement. But mostly, that boy is in desperate need of a haircut. Although that's no big
surprise given that his mom is played by Rosie O'Donnell.

The Apprentice
I'm shocked. Not by Nick and Amy's double ouster (Mom always said, "Don't s--t where you eat"),
not by the Survivor-esque return of the last six castoffs and not by Carolyn's killer golf swing.
No, I'm shocked at myself for being shocked by Omarosa's denial that a phone call she received
during dinner with her team had anything to do with their assigned task. But just when I think it
can't get any more twisted, she out and out lies when she's subsequently called on her actions by
the Trump exec who phoned her with a problem. Omarosa says she never even spoke to the woman the
night before, that she was merely told to get in touch with her. Um, did she not notice the camera
crew that was in her face while she was taking the call? Did that falling piece of cee-ment damage
her eyesight, short-term memory and conscience too? It's all too obvious that she's the ultimate
sore loser �no pun intended �and that she's trying to sabotage Kwame's chances of winning, but
doesn't she realize that lying on national TV isn't going to get her anywhere? Well, she might be
able to find something at the White House...

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital
Note to self: If I'm ever in a haunted hospital where a creepy little ghost girl keeps a
humongous, disease-eating aardvark-wolverine-looking creature as a pet, don't open any unfamiliar
bowling-ball bags. Didn't that chick see The Sopranos?

ER
I'm still bawling and I'm out of tissues. I'm also royally p----d. Finally, Weaver seemed to have
found personal happiness with Sandy and their son, Henry, and the future looked bright for her
dynamic character to develop a richer inner life than just being the hospital harpy. But then the
writers go and kill off Sandy. And it was gut-wrenching watching Kerry stand by helplessly and
crumble inside as the love of her life and the mother of their child gruesomely died before her
eyes. But that's not enough tragedy for one episode, so the writers have Sandy's grieving family
take Henry from Kerry, leaving her utterly alone in her sorrow. Laura Innes turned in a stellar
performance (I smell an Emmy nod), but can't we torture someone else? Let's see... Chen? No, her
mother just died and her father is an invalid. Gallant? No, looks like he's shipping out to war.
Susan? Nope, she's been ordered to bed rest for the next five weeks. Sam? Alex's dad is back.
Abby? Failed the medical board exam. Neela? Just killed a patient and any hope of a relationship
with Gallant when he falsified a chart to save her butt. Well, Carter's been pretty happy lately.
Maybe we can abuse him for a while. Once he comes back from Africa, of course.

The Tonight Show
Obviously that guy who licked John Melendez's shoe for $5 in Times Square is a tourist. I've only
lived in NYC a month and I always take my shoes off at my apartment door, something I was always
somewhat insulted by prior to moving here but now require of everyone who visits my teeny tiny
abode. Why? Hundreds, probably thousands of dogs �and no grass.

Quote of the night
"How long should that sentence be?!" �The Daily Show's Jon Stewart's response to Condoleezza
Rice's testimony that a memorandum about the presence of al-Qaida cells in the U.S. was expressed
in "only a line or two."

-- TV Guide

tvguide.com article

Friends
Yes, it's another rerun, but it's the No. 2 favorite episode, with "The Kiss." Sure, the
Ross-Rachel liplock was one of the most hyped smooches since Dave and Maddie, Sam and Diane, and
Roseanne Barr and Mariel Hemingway, but I like this installment for another reason �Rachel's
drunken "I'm over you" phone message (c'mon, we've all been there at least once, bottle of
Chardonnay notwithstanding), which she leaves on Ross's answering machine during a dismal date
with a poor guy named Michael (the much-underused Ayre Gross) and elicits one of my favorite bits
of dialogue: "You're over me? When were you under me?" Those few choice words combined with
Rachel's desperate scamper across the room to pounce onto Ross's back to keep him from hearing
said message makes for a classic comedic moment in my book.

Survivor: All-Stars
In this season's most boring episode yet (even the clip show was more compelling), an attempted
team reshuffle results in only Amber switching sides, separating her from bed buddy Boston Rob. "I
feel like I'm the only one who got screwed," lamented the suddenly single swizzle stick. Well,
duh. That was pretty obvious the moment you started bunking with that bully from Beantown. Even
Jerri's expulsion was a snore. Like so many worn-out reality-show contestants, she wanted her
suffering to end. I just want to know when mine will.

Toys "R" Us Easter commercial
I love the singing bunnies! Although somewhat reminiscent of those annoying singing chipmunks,
these high-pitched little balls of fluff never fail to make me grin. "Here comes Peter
Cottontail/hoppin' down the bunny trail...." Everybody!

Wonderfalls
Since everyone's been yapping about this quirky new series, I thought I'd check it out in its
death-sentence, er, new Thursday-night timeslot against CSI and The Apprentice. So much of the
buzz around this show about a young woman who gets instructions from inanimate objects has been
centered on comparisons to Joan of Arcadia, about a teen who talks to God, that the stellar
supporting cast has been largely overlooked. Jaye's dad is played by William Sadler (Dan's
somewhat simple pal Dwight on Roseanne); the sublime Katie Finneran (station manager Kenny's loopy
daughter Poppy on Frasier) plays Jaye's closeted sister. And that's Diana Scarwid playing Jaye's
mom, gang. Please tell me you remember her as the grown-up Christina Crawford from that classic
ode to motherhood, Mommie Dearest ("I am not one of your fans!"). I dare say she might even be
channeling dear Joan here...

The Apprentice
Trump said it best tonight: "Wow." Troy got the ax over Kwame. Despite genial self-made
real-estate broker Troy's unfailing enthusiasm and creative approach to business, Trump decided to
keep underperformer Kwame because of his educational background and current employer (he's a
Harvard MBA who works for Goldman Sachs). And although I love country-boy Troy, I have to side
with Trump, but for a different reason: He picked his pal to accompany him to the boardroom over
Bill. Huh? Did he think that decision would win points with someone who values loyalty as much as
Trump does?

ER
Thank you, writers, for finally fleshing out Neela's character and allowing Parminder Nagra the
chance to display her acting chops. For most of the season, Neela has been the star pupil, spewing
forth medical-textbook facts like an espresso machine at Starbucks. Tonight she starts to unravel
under the extreme demands of her chosen profession and the expectations of others after Carter
instructs her to be more assertive in a misguided attempt to improve her self-confidence.
Meanwhile, the ER explodes around her. She's pushed and pulled in too many directions at once, and
her desire to please everyone by proving herself worthy of their praise and confidence causes her
to make a fatal mistake. Overwhelmed, she breaks down in the supply closet, unable to keep her
emotions in check. I have to admit that I've starred in my own version of that scene before, when
no matter what you do or how well you do it, it's never enough and you wonder what the hell you're
doing there in the first place. Only I usually make it to the ladies room before losing it.

Without a Trace
This solid episode featuring guest star Tony Goldwyn as a pair of murder-suspect twins �one takes
the rap for the other, just as the other expected him to �confirms something I've long suspected
(and I'm sure to catch heat for, from a certain twin in particular, but I'm entitled to my
opinion): Double Trouble and The Patty Duke Show (yeah, I know they're cousins, identical cousins)
aside, twins are a wee bit... creepy. Just look at Mary-Kate and Ashley.

The Daily Show
My Lord �no pun intended �the writers for this show are brilliant.. Probably going to hell for
their brilliance, but so what? In a razor-sharp sendup of the recent proliferation of
religion-related TV topics and coverage, Stephen Colbert hosts "This Week in God," a Press Your
Luck-esque recap of various religious goings on around the world that includes a "Cast Ye from the
Garden" segment sponsored by the Olive Garden, where "every supper is good enough to be your
last."

The Tonight Show
The Good Sport of the Night Award goes to American Idol ouster Amy Adams, who gamely makes the
most of a backhanded compliment that Simon Cowell recently gave her �he said she reminded him of
Jay Leno the night before she got the boot �by showing up here to sing on "Daddy's" show.

The Late Show
Meanwhile, still basking in the glow of the recent �and unprecedented �apology CNN issued to him
after the network erroneously alleged that he faked some footage featured on his show, Dave gives
us the "Top 10 Questions You're Afraid to Ask Condoleezza Rice." Topping the list: "What kind of
job will you and Bush be looking for in January 2005?" My personal fave? "At cabinet meetings, who
besides you and Cheney wears lipstick?" (It was a tie between that and "Have you ever tried the
Condoleezza rice at Chi-Chis?" but my shame at having to Google Halliburton forced me to feign a
modicum of maturity.)

-- TV Guide